


Episode 1: A Strange Ring Thing!

by Hyuuint



Series: Sam & Max Meet The Cooper Gang! [1]
Category: Sam & Max, Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: ADVENTURE!, Also Yes HEAVY SPOILERS For Their Various Media!, Anything Else Might Be Spoilers!, As Much As Possible Anyways, Breakup, Canon Compliant, Caper Fic, Crossover, Downplayed Sexiness Though, F/M, Humor!, Old Settings, Original Characters - Freeform, Series, Sexy Vixen!, Split Narrative Views, new settings, references to past events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-01-05 10:59:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12188688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyuuint/pseuds/Hyuuint
Summary: It has been quite some time since their last caper! Time travel and perilous enemies, love gained and lost, great foes defeated time and again!Now, the Trickster's Ring has resurfaced in the hands of Monsieur Papierwaite in his Museum of Mostly Natural History! Not an ordinary ring in any sense, it has the ability to cause pranks and misfortune upon whomever the wearer deems a target!With an artifact of such power, INTERPOL has put their best foot forward with Inspector Carmelita Fox to help guard the fantastical piece of jewelry!And thanks to shenanigans, Sam and Max are on the case!From the shadows? So are the Cooper Gang!What perils will affect our friends and protagonists this time? Who else is after the coveted Trickster's Ring? Will Sly and Carmelita patch things up? Will Sam ever find true love for real this time? Will Alternate-Time Max ever stop pointing out that he's from another time? Will Doctor Norrington ever get that ham and misery sandwich he ordered? Will Bentley stop worrying about the state of his figurines back home?How about you take a look inside and find out?





	1. A Strange Night

As dark nights in the City that Never Sleeps (Or Else Demon-Rabbit Spores Eat Your Dreams And Make Their Maker Stronger) went, this one was a fairly standard one. Rats crawled along the sidewalk without too much care. Sirens and gunshots went off in the background some streets away. Parking meters were bent at horrid angles as though they had been hit at great force without care. Thugs slipped around corners only to stop at the sight of other bigger thugs.

 

Yes, truly a standard night for New York City.

 

A shadowy figure slunk atop the rooftops of a particularly weather-beaten burgh of the grand city. With a deft leap they cleared the gaps between buildings. A swish of their unusual hooked cane helped them latch onto poles and wires. They swung from place to place with ease as though the city itself was their playground.

 

It might as well have been, for the mysterious figure was none other than-

 

“SLY! Come in SLY!!!”

 

Sly Cooper winced heavily. It may have been years since their first major caper with the Fiendish Five, but Bentley still had a nasty habit of shrieking out Sly’s first name at a pitch that would make most dogs or dog-beings cringe.

 

“I hear you Bentley. I  _ always _ hear you Bentley,” Sly said with a tone of exasperation and amusement.

 

“Yeah, sorry, I can’t help it,” the turtle that acted as an intelligence hub and munitions expert apologized. “Where are you?”

 

“Not sure. This part of town has seen better days. Half the street signs are missing, there’s about twenty closed-down stores, and there’s a humongous crack going down the middle of half the block," the thief noted aloud as he saw the remnants of past shenanigans.  


 

“I’m not surprised. If my calculations are correct, you’re heading towards one of the weirdest places in that city," Bentley responded.  


 

Sly gave a small chuckle. “New York has stranger parts to it? I thought the whole place was weird.”

 

“Yeah, well….”

 

“Bentley, look. I know it’s only been a few months since I got yanked back from Ancient Egypt, thanks for the rescue by the way, but that hot tip you got about a relic that enhances a person’s abilities in weird ways in the hands of a some two-bit weirdness museum in the middle of one of the most heavily crime-impacted and weirdest cities in the world was too good to pass up. You know full well how many people would love to get their hands on it and cause even more trouble?”

 

A small buzz was all that came from the radio in Sly’s ear. “Was… was saying all that really necessary? I already know all that,  _ I _ was the one that told  _ you _ !”

 

“Nah, but I felt like it needed to be said,” Sly said with a grin.

 

“Oh funny. Very funny. But back to my original question. Where are you? And where is Carmelita for that matter?”

 

Sly cringed a little inwardly. “I, uhm, I don’t know…”

 

Bentley’s sigh hissed over the radio. “Look, I understand that you’re still hurt from the falling out you two had, what with your differing ideologies. But keeping a tail on her is paramount! We have to find out why she didn’t make an immediate beeline for the museum!”

 

“Did you really have to say  _ that _ ?” Sly asked back to his friend and partner in crime.

 

“Yes. Yes I did. Focus, Sly!”

 

“Alright alright.” Sly focused his binocucom better and looked around the streets. In a few moments he caught sight of his shapely target.

 

“Aw man, she’s wearing the short-shorts again.”

 

“Again,  _ focus, _ Sly!”

 

“Right. Uhm. Let’s see.” He turned his head and found one of the few remaining intact street signs.

 

“Looks like she’s on the corner of… Straight and Narrow? That can’t be-”

 

“WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! Did you say… STRAIGHT AND NARROW?!” Bentley’s panicked shout rang in Sly’s abused eardrums.

 

“Ow! Yes, I said-”   
  


“Get over there and find out what the address she’s going to is! QUICKLY! This is gonna change everything if what I suspect is true!!!” Bentley shouted some more. Sly could hear the furious clicking of a keyboard. If his friend was hitting the CrimeNet, then there was definitely something to worry about.

 

A few agile jumps later and Sly got a good look at the building that Carmelita had stopped in front of. She seemed to be of the same mindset as Sly was about the place. The vixen’s hands were planted firmly on her hips as she surveyed the rather grimy looking building. Sly tore his eyes away from his former girlfriend and found the number Bentley requested.

 

“Looks like… 1313 Straight Street,” the thievius raccoon relayed to his buddy.

 

“No…. No no no no no no! Sly! This is horrible!”

 

Sly couldn’t help but roll his eyes. While he had a feeling Bentley’s intuition might be right like it usually was, the turtle did have a tendency to over exaggerate things too.

 

“Why, pray tell, is it so horrible?”   
  


Bentley’s typing stopped. “Sly. If that address you gave me is the correct one, our job just got a thousand times more difficult. If Carmelita went to where you say she went, then she as gone to get the assistance of the most daring, most proficient, and most perfect-record-holding crime busting duo in the world!

 

“ **_SAM AND MAX!!!”_ **

 

Sly slowly lowered his binocucom. He looked at the building. Then back to the device. The building again. The binocucom was put back into place.

 

“Sam and who?”

 

**A FEW MINUTES EARLIER!**

 

“UGH! Okay, I get it, the city needs a break from all the wonderful work we do, what with my alternate-timeline-counterpart’s eldritch rampage across most of it. But do they really need to make us wait  _ this  _ long?!”

 

“Cheer up little buddy. I sense that we have gotten a bit of a spotlight put back onto us. I am certain that we’ll be getting a phone call from the Commissioner any minute now.”

 

The six-foot tall dog-person in an impeccable suit and tie combo minus the shoes but plus one very tight-necked fedora and a small naked white rabbity thing both looked at the phone expectantly. A few seconds later the rabbity thing gave a small whiny sigh.

 

“I can’t help but agree. Saying something like that usually wo-”

 

The phone began to ring. In an instant the two were fighting over one another to get to the machine. All the while the two of them shouted out “I GOT IT I GOT IT IT’S ME THIS TIME I GOT IT!”

 

The dog-being was the one to get it. It was always the dog-being that got it. The small white rabbity thing was pinned down under one foot. He flailed uselessly against his partner’s pressure.

 

“Hello? Yes? Yes! YES!  _ No.  _ Amazing! What? WHY YES! Hot bullions of gold beads dripped across a belly dancer's torso! We’re on the case!” The receiver was put back down and the rabbity thing was allowed to get back up.

 

“Was that the Commissioner?”

 

“The one and only, little buddy. Seems that there’s a particularly fancy artifact in the Museum of Mostly Natural History that has INTERPOL ancy. When told that they were gonna be sending in some assistance with their best officer, Paperweight put in a good and long word for us to be there too. Also, according to the Commissioner, INTERPOL is contractually obligated to ask for our assistance anyways when it comes to anything involving anything remotely close to our part of the city.”

 

“Coincidence?”

 

“More like literary convenience. At any rate, the Commissioner says that we should be expecting the INTERPOL officer to arrive at any moment to give us more details as to what to expect. And that we are to be on our best behavior despite the presence of other law enforcement individuals.”

 

“Sheesh! What does he take us for? A couple of paranoid, destructive, loose-canon loons?”

 

“Given the track record you two have, that would be an easy guess,” A third voice said from their now-open doorway. The accent seemed to melt between Italian and Spanish in origin yet had a strange undertone of Western American thrown in. The pair looked over as one to the newcomer.

 

“Hello ma’am! We’re Sam and Max! Freelance Police! And you must be Inspector Carmelita Fox.”

 

“Wow! INTERPOL must have a really loose uniform regulation!”

 

“You’re one to talk, knucklehead. You’re naked.”

 

“I’m a cartoony rabbit, Max. I mean Sam. I can get away with it.”

 

Carmelita crossed her arms. “Are you two done?”

 

“Hardly. But we can put aside the quips for a few moments. I take it you have the details ready for us?”

 

Inspector Fox closed the door behind her and stepped around the very cluttered room. Ever since the Penal Zone got reopened in their building Sam and Max’s junk that they had collected over the years had gotten even more messy and unmanageable. It didn’t help that they didn’t seem to be all that obligated to clean it up any time soon.

 

“Yes. I do. Look, I know you two have an amazing record, but I also know that a lot of destruction follows in your wake. So please,  _ please  _ listen to me. And try not to get too much broken?”

 

“We’ll do our best ma’am.”

 

“Yeah! We’ll keep the losses to a mere few million!”

 

Carmelita sighed and leaned against the wall with a rather worryingly Max-shaped bullet outline on it. “Here’s what’s going on. The Museum of Mostly Natural History is hosting a plethora of old relics that were found in Central America. Most of them are little knick knacks that don’t mean much, but Papierwaite seems to have stumbled upon a particularly powerful object known as the Trickster’s Ring.”

 

“Well that doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

 

“Maybe. But it’s apparently imbued with a powerful magic that allows pranks and misfortunes to be directed at the target of the wearer’s choice, regardless of distance or barrier.”

 

“Now it does sound kind of ominous.”

 

“I have  _ got _ to try that thing out!”

 

The inspector shook her head. “No. It’s also said to corrupt the wearer with the personality of the maker, the eponymous Trickster, until nothing is left of them.”

 

“Ooh. Now I  _ really _ want to try it out!”

 

“Quiet Max. Miss Fox?”

 

“Thank you Sam. There’s plenty of people who might find the ring useful, especially with a particularly crafty mind. In fact, we’ve gotten word of at least one criminal syndicate who wants the ring for themselves,” Carmelita continued.

 

“And you want, or rather are forced into accepting, our help to keep whatever miscreants and ne’er-do-wells at bay?”

 

“Don’t say ne’er, Sam.”

 

“That’s right. We should be heading over there soon. Papierwaite said he’s come up with a few extra fortifications and such, but considering who we’re dealing with, INTERPOL feels more comfortable with a few extra guards on hand until the exhibition is over,” Inspector Fox explained.

 

“Huh. Why not simply ask Paperweight to hand over the thing and keep it under lock and key?”

 

“We tried. He refused. And apparently the way he refused made INTERPOL agree to the guard job to begin with,” Carmelita said with a hint of indignation in her voice.

 

“Guess Doctor Norrington must have stepped in.”

 

“Yeah, there are few that would be willing to argue with an Elder God like him.”

 

“Come again?” Carmelita asked with a confused look on her face.

 

“Nevermind. Shall we head out? Max and I are ready to begin the case!”

 

“I call shotgun!”

 

“We should, but I think I’ll walk. I’ve heard about your… uhm, driving skills,” the international officer replied.

 

“If you say so, but I think you’re missing out on a life changing experience.”

 

“We’ve converted several people to following at least one god of some sort after being in the car with us at the wheel!”

 

**MEANWHILE ON THE WINDOW SILL!**

 

“Did you catch all that Bentley?” Sly whispered into his microphone.

 

“Every word of it. That ring would be some major trouble in the wrong hands! I don’t know much about this Paperweight or Papierwaite guy, but I know my magic artifacts. And INTERPOL usually doesn’t have what it takes to keep those things safe.” There was more furious clicking on Bentley’s end.

 

“I take it I’m gonna follow Carmelita some more now?”

 

“You really don’t have a choice, not that you wouldn’t anyways. Sam and Max are terrible, chaotic drivers. They might be able to get to the Museum faster than Carmelita, but knowing those two they’re likely gonna get there well after her. Keep a tail on her, and lay low once you arrive. I want to get a full readout on these ‘defenses’ this Papierweight guy’s got ready.” More furious clickings were heard as Bentley explained.

 

“I like that plan.”

 

“And don’t let yourself get distracted! You are a TAIL! Do not, I repeat,  _ do not _ confront Carmelita!” Bentley warned.

 

Sly sighed lightly as he got to the rooftops once more. Carmelita was on the move which meant he had to be too. “Believe me buddy. I don’t plan to.”

 

**TWENTY MINUTES LATER!**

 

Sam and Max’s Desotto revved down the street and stopped halfway up the stairs of the Museum of Mostly Natural History. Carmelita had her arms crossed as the two hopped out of the vehicle and shook her head. “Where have you two been? It only took ten minutes for me, and I walked!”

 

“Sorry ma’am. We would have been here sooner, but  _ someone _ decided that I needed to have my eyes covered at Fifth and Main.”

 

“Hey, you’re the one that said he wanted a bit of challenge in his day-to-day life.”

 

“That was you, Max.”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

Carmelita rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Well, Papierwaite kind of expected the wait. He said he’d be back in a few minutes to let us in.”

 

“I’m surprised he has the doors locked at all. The last time I was here, the place was wide open even in the dead of night.”

 

The inspector kept an eye out for movements in the shadows as she waited. “Part of the agreement we had with Papierwaite. It was probably the easiest part to get him to agree to.”

 

“What else did you have to get him to work out with, exactly?”

 

“More established open and close times, details of what few employees he has, records of how and where he got the artifacts in his care, things like that.” The inspector sighed through her nose. “And he fought with us every step of the way.”

 

“Not surprising. Paperweight is a very secretive odd man.”

 

“He has to be, what with his dealings with the occult, the Elder God glued to his chest, and that terrible hat!”

 

“Hey! My hat is not terrible!” An odd accent called out from the doors behind Carmelita. “This fez has been passed down in my family for generations, and has-”

 

“Yeah yeah we get it. Now show us the ring!”

 

“Simmer down Max.”

 

Papierwaite shook his head at their antics but did so with a smile. They may have started out with a tinge of animosity with the oddly dressed occult master, but the end of their adventures had helped Sam and Max gain a particularly powerful ally. In certain situations at least. He looked to the addition of the group and gave her a once-over that ended on the badge pinned to her low-cut vest.

 

“And you must be Inspector Fox? Nice to meet you. I suppose. But I assure you, I have set up the most powerful magical barriers I and Doctor Norrington are capable of creating, so INTERPOL’s assistance may be very much redundant,” the curator said with a smug grin.

 

“Maybe. Maybe not. We’re here either way. I need to see these ‘magical barriers’ of yours,” Carmelita requested.

 

“If you must. This way, everyone.” Monsieur Papierwaite waved a hand and ushered everyone inside. Once Max crossed the threshold, Papierwaite locked the door and took the lead.

 

**OUTSIDE!**

 

“Door’s locked. But that’s not a problem for us,” Sly announced to Bentley. Before the turtle could prompt him Sly began to look over the building for an entrypoint. Finally he caught a glimpse of blue sparkles on one of the corners of the building. “Bingo.”

 

“Careful Sly. I did a bit of Reading up on this Papierwaite guy. He’s a very advanced occult magic master. And he has ties to some of the oldest and most powerful versions of the stuff too.”

 

“We handled Miz Ruby, Clockwerk, time travel, the ice age, and all sorts of other stuff. I think we can handle a bit of old-age magic too,” Sly said with a cocky grin. He launched off the building he was perched upon, whipped out his trusty parachute and glided over to the Museum.

 

“I still say you need to be careful. Don’t underestimate the guy. Or whatever INTERPOL has added,” Bentley warned further.

 

“I dunno. Doesn’t sound like INTERPOL added much beyond regulations and a shock pistol.” Sly instinctively snagged onto the pole that the sparkles guided him to and climbed up with his cane in his mouth. In moment he found the point of entry: a very convenient air vent. He put his skills and Cooper Abilities to good use as he slunk in with nary a sound.

 

“Okay, I managed to find a few blueprints of the place. Sheesh, this guy has almost nothing on him. Take a left. Then a right. Follow it till the third right and take that. That should lead you into the main staging area.”

 

“Thanks Bentley,” Sly said as he crawled along. A left a right and a third right later Sly saw a massive chicken-esque statue surrounded by a lot of other weird-looking bric-a-brak. And walking through the area was the Inspector and Freelance Police themselves.

 

“Got’em.”

 

“Good work, Sly. Keep after them. Never know what we might be able to learn,” the turtle instructed.

 

“Roger that. Is Murray ready in case things go pear-shaped?”

 

A crackle interrupted Bentley’s response. “THE MURRAY is already ready for pear-shaped events! Especially when they involve actual pears!”

 

“Great to hear Murray. I don’t think we’ll need your driving skills or your fists of fury, but be on guard just in case, okay buddy?”

 

“You got it Sly!” Another hiss and the hippo muscleman went silent.

 

“They’re on the move,” Sly announced.

 

“Keep up with them.”

 

“Already on it, Bentley.”

 

**BACK ON THE FLOOR BELOW!**

 

“And here we have the representation of what may have happened if Junior, the youngest of the Elder Gods, had been allowed back onto the mortal plane. Charlie Ho-Tep as you can see is being trampled underfoot-”

 

“Monsieur Papierwaite,” Carmelita interrupted. “As fascinating as your displays are, can we please get to the ring and its defenses?”

 

“Hmph! I am giving you a free tour of my wonderful museum and-...” Papierwaite paused and turned away from the group. “Sir? You sure sir? Oh… oh very well. As you say, Doctor Norrington.” 

 

Papierwaite turned back with a defeated face. “You’re right. Follow me. We can hash out the tour later.”

 

Carmelita gave an exasperated grin and followed the curator. Sam and Max meanwhile lingered about the main hall.

  
“Amazing how much a place can change in a decent chunk of time, isn’t it Max?”

 

“I wouldn’t know. Never been here before, Sam.”

 

“Oh, right, you were dealing with your own misadventures with that kooky scientist who had discovered a means of perfectly controlling the electromagnetic fields around individuals.”

 

“I still have no idea why he thought putting such power in an easily breakable sphere was such a good idea.”

 

“Mysteries of the world, little buddy.” Sam looked around and noticed that they were left behind. “Well. Want to check out the rest of the museum until we get called back into duty?”

 

“Do you have to ask?”

 

**BACK IN THE VENTS!**

 

“You sure those guys are all that good at their job? They already kinda dropped it to fool around back in the main room.” Sly asked as he crawled above Carmelita and that strangely dressed curator. It still boggled Sly’s mind as to how he got those tufts of hair behind his ears to curl up like tiny horns.

 

“They may look like they’re distracted, but Sam and Max are masters of figuring out scenarios with clues that other people would just straight up ignore. Especially Sam. Max is more chaotic but he does seem to have an uncanny knack to noticing little details about people.”

 

“Got it. They’re obfuscating their intelligence,” Sly noted mostly to himself as he continued his tailing operation. Not far from the main room was the display area for the new Southern American Artifact Exhibit. And smack dab in the center of the room was the major showpiece itself.

 

“Ah, yes! The Trickster’s Ring! It cost me a fortune in things beyond money to acquire this artifact, but this is one of the most powerful objects I’ve had in my possession since the Devil’s Toybox itself!” Papierwaite announced proudly to Inspector Fox.

 

“I know of it’s supposed magical abilities-”

 

“Supposed nothing! This is one of the few mortal magical items that was ever on par with the Elder Gods themselves! A creation so powerful that the maker itself was driven mad and forced into isolation beyond this realm!”

 

“...Right. So. Defenses, if this is all true?” Carmelita didn’t seem to be buy any of this from the expression on her face but Sly knew that her professional attitude wouldn’t let her disbelief get in the way.

 

Bentley’s voice whispered in Sly’s ear again. “Get the camera ready. It still has those enhancements I gave it for when we went through Miz Ruby’s territory, so even invisible magical barriers should be visible to us.”

 

“Bentley, I really don’t think…” Sly flipped on the camera and a kaleidoscope of colors washed over his vision. “...You’re wrong at all, and I should never doubt you.”

 

“Clearly. This is a lot of data to sift through. Keep an ear on them while I figure out what counterspell goes with what barrier. I might get a few clues to help me out.”

 

“Roger that, Bentley.” Sly kept his binocucom trained on the barriers but turned up the volume of his microphone.

 

“...And that is one of the first barriers. A nasty surprise for those with ill intent that go after the ring.”

 

Carmelita shifted her stance but not her neutral expression. “And they all happen to be invisible?”

 

“Every one of them ma’am, unless they have some form of occult-magic viewing electronic devices. But who would ever think of making one of those? It’d be ridiculous!” Papierwaite said with his smug grin at full force. “And even if they did, they wouldn’t know the counterspell specific for the lock itself.”

 

“There’s not a key?”

 

“Of course not! Keys can be pilfered! A spell, ah! That requires a certain degree of magical ability. So you see? You’d have to be a magician like me to even open it in the first place!”

 

Carmelita raised an eyebrow. “Okay. Prove it. What’s the passphrase?”

 

“Pen-oyay e-thay ock-lay ight-ray ow-nay.”

 

“Pig Lat-?”

 

“Do not mock the Ancient Language with that pitiful name created by the Unbelievers!” Papierwaite interrupted.

 

“Okay okay,” Carmelita held up her hands and turned back to the box in the middle of the room. “Pen-oyay e-thay ock-lay ight-ray ow-nay.”

 

Sly watched as absolutely nothing happened.

 

“See? Now watch this.” Papierwaite cleared his throat and spoke directly to the box this time. “ _ Pen-oyay e-thay ock-lay ight-ray ow-nay! _ ” His voice had a reverb that didn’t exist before that moment.

 

The box clicked loudly and slowly opened upwards. Halfway through Papierwaite called out, “ _ Evermind-nay, ose-clay ow-nay! _ ” And far more swiftly than it had opened the box snapped back shut with more clicks.

 

“As you can tell, that alone makes the box very secure, Inspector Fox.” That grin on Papierwaite’s face couldn’t get any smugger.

 

Carmelita was about to say what she thought about his trick when Sam’s voice cut through.

 

“Hey, that was was a neat trick, Paperweight. And the rest of the museum’s coming along nicely too.”

 

“It could use a snack bar though.”

 

“Alas, I could not get the permits to allow the foods I felt were best suited to the Museum for such a thing Max,” Papierwaite lamented. “But I thank you for the suggestion and kind words.”

 

“Monsieur Paperwaite?”

 

“Yes Inspector Fox?”

 

Sly could see that Carmelita was definitely holding a lot back thanks to the respect she had for her job. “Your… defenses seem quite… interesting. And sound it too. But INTERPOL is still going to require a watch and additional defenses. At least at night. Are you willing to cooperate?”

 

“I don’t see why I should!” The curator groused.

 

“Hey, don’t be like that Paperweight. Maybe you could have their extra fancy gadgets active at night, so that people who come in to look at your neat museum don’t get distracted.”

 

“Kinda like how you had to give up your laser light show, according to Sam anyways.”

 

“Yeah, that. Also, you’ll have Max and me here to guard the place with Miss Fox, and she’s already proven to be very capable in the not-being-distracted department.”

 

“Which is probably a good thing with our short attention ooh look a stone carving!”

 

Papierwaite rubbed his chin. “Actually… that’s not too bad an idea.” He looked up to the taller Inspector Fox. “How soon would INTERPOL be able to add their own devices?”

 

“As soon as I give the call they can be here,” Carmelita assured him.

 

“Hm. I could change a few of the harmonic resonances I have on some of the spells… a few laser grids and basic alarms could help.” He turned away again and seemed to be muttering to himself once more. Sly turned up the microphone again but still couldn’t hear much more than grumblings.

 

The curator turned back soon enough. “Inspector Fox, you have a deal! I will still be wanting to watch over the making of the defenses, but I agree to INTERPOL’s additional security. With the caveat that you alone from the force be here to keep an eye on things. With Sam and Max’s help of course.”

 

Carmelita let out a held breath of relief. “I am glad to hear that. I’ll make the call and get our techs out here immediately.”

 

Bentley’s voice crackled in Sly’s ear again. “Okay, time to pull out of there buddy. We’ve gotten all that we can from this, and I know enough of both INTERPOL’s tech and this guy’s energy readings to figure out what to do. Time to build up a proper game plan.”

 

“Roger that, Bentley. I’ll be out of here in a few.”

 

The earpiece clicked off. Sam and Max had since wandered out of the room again but Sly didn’t care much about that. He simply wanted to get a good look at Carmelita again before he had to get the heck outta dodge.

 

**BACK IN THE MAIN AREA!**

 

“Well Max, our first case in another long while! And it appears to be filled with the right amount of intrigue too!”

 

“No kidding! I’m just glad we got to work with someone that at least seems to kinda stomach our detective skills.”

 

“What we have anyways. Though I get the feeling we’ll need to keep our eyes peeled out for more weird doings than normal. I’ll keep my nose to the ground for more clues as to who or what may be after the ring.”

 

“And I’ll keep walking around making innocuous and somewhat random commentary on the world around us in the hopes of a slim chance that it might actually pertain to the case!”

 

“You crack me up, little buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Sam and Max! Alongside Sly Cooper! I have always liked the two games, and I recently had a burst of inspiration for the two universes to interact with one another.
> 
> For those that may be wondering: Most if not ALL of the major canon between the two games' various media can and will be used. SOME liberties may be taken, but all canon between the two is up for grabs.
> 
> I have a plan made out for this one, and it should spread out across Five Episodes with a varying amount of Acts each. How much they need will depend from Episode to Scenario, much like the source materials involved. And yes, I will try my best to hold fast to both materials' formulas as much as feasibly possible.
> 
> I do hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> For other works of mine, please click the author's name find out the other stuff I have finished and started. Thankya much!


	2. Act 2: Hot Cop Sets Up Shop!

**AT THE COOPER HIDEOUT ON CROOKED AND WIDE!**

 

Murray popped open his favorite bag of chips. He always felt hungry when a discussion about an upcoming caper was brought up. Or when escape routes were plotted out. Or when Sly pointed out an item he wanted to pilfer. Or when Bentley wanted to…

 

He was always hungry is the point.

 

While Murray munched away Sly pulled up a rolling chair and sat down. Bentley in the meantime set up his his projector. It was a very sleek designed machine, set up to respond to Bentley’s hand motions and even responded to a stylus like a marker! It was a little big for the turtle though and threatened to topple over onto him. Murray saved the day when he caught the device and set it lightly on the table for Bentley.

 

“Thanks Murray. Now! Pay attention you two! This is important,” Bentley announced to his comrades.

 

Sly rolled his eyes and chuckled. “They’re  _ always _ important, Bentley. But do go on.”

 

“Sarcasm notwithstanding, I will most certainly will.” Bentley held up his swiped over to the first picture. Murray turned his overly loud munches to slightly softer scarfs.

 

“Alright. The Museum of Mostly Natural History. It’s a weird place at the best of times. But with the addition of the ring, INTERPOL’s defenses, and Papierwaite’s proper paranoia it has become a hotbed of defenses to make the normal thief turn tail and run.” Various arrows were scribbled all over the screen before a scratchy circle followed suit.

 

A giant chicken-kinda dinosaur thing was displayed next.

 

“Fortunately, we are  _ not  _ normal thieves. Thanks to our work with the paranormal, I have already figured out a few ways to get around the  _ known _ defenses. The problem comes in from the  _ unknown _ defenses.” This was punctuated with several question marks around the dino-skeleton followed by some devil horns and a fez.

 

“Sly, you and Murray are to go to the Museum close to the end of the day and pose as a couple of tourists.” A mockup of Sly and Murray looking like a pair of German-esque tourists complete with fanny packs, see-through visors and strange shirts appeared. “Use the cameras I developed to detect any more spells and enchantments in the area so that I can do more research.”

 

The picture shifted over to Sam and Max. The two had looked directly into the camera and posed comically.

 

“Murray, you stick to the main area. It’ll be risky but with your jovial attitude the Freelance Police should be sufficiently distracted to not realize what you’re doing. AND help cover for what Sly will be doing.”

 

The picture shifted again to the ring’s display.

 

“Sly, you’re going to be taking a better look in the Ring’s room. Get what pictures you can, and DO NOT make too much direct contact with Carmelita. She’s very likely going to be sticking close to that room. Find any INTERPOL devices that have been installed, and look for anything really out of the ordinary.”

 

A gargoyle was next. Several scribbles of occult symbols and skulls were put onto the screen.

 

“Which considering the location is going to be more difficult than usual. Follow your instincts.”

 

The outside of the museum was shown again but at night.

 

“Be sure to get out of there before night falls and the museum closes. We don’t want to raise any suspicion. Get in, get the goods, and get out.”

 

Bentley shut off his projector and looked to his two pals.

 

“Any que-”

 

Murray had several emptied chip bags stacked up on the table in front of him.

 

Sly Cooper seemed to be asleep.

 

“Veeeeeerry funny you two.” Bentley gave Sly a sharp thwap to his foot. The Racoon ‘woke up’ with a jump.

 

“Hey hey hey, I was paying attention. We’ve done this a thousand times before, Bentley. It’s just with magic again. Don’t worry so much pal.”

 

“I worry for good reason. But you two need to get ready. The prime time to take these pictures is approaching, and you two need to get into costume,” the turtle said with a smirk.

 

“Oh boy! Sweater vests! And fanny packs! This is going to be AWESOME! The MURRAY is pumped!”

 

Sly held up part of his costume with a look of disgust. “Ugh.”

 

**AT THE MUSEUM OF MOSTLY NATURAL HISTORY!**

 

“And you two say in this section of the museum. At least for now. I know you have a tendency to wander around, but please? Here and here alone. Any questions?” Papierwaite asked of the two Freelance Police.

 

“None except why were pulled in so early.”

 

“Yeah, I’m missing the ‘World’s Laziest Crashes’ marathon!”

 

“It is a bit earlier than discussed but Doctor Norrington and I felt it would be a good idea. INTERPOL just finished adding their defenses and as you can see, this is peak of international tourist season.” Papierwaite waved a hand and the three of them looked over the musuem. A small gaggle of vaguely European people wandered about as they ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ at the works of ‘art’.

 

“Ooh what a stunning display of American eldritch horror interpretation! It is so hübsch und aufregend!” Hubert said excitedly as he snapped picture after picture.

 

“I thought I was detecting a higher level of vaguely German accents and culinary concepts.”

 

“And I thought it was just the… the uh. Huh. Sam, I don’t have anything for that.”

 

“Nice try little buddy.”

 

“Please do not beat up the tourists this time. Unless they deserve it. I will be in my office. I have heard rumors of more artifacts created by the Trickster. Granted that they may be rumors seeing as the Ring is the only known surviving relic. I also need to speak to Inspector Fox about her… armament.” Papierwaite waved the two goodbye as he turned and left for his office.

 

“Huh. If my shaky memory of basic night writing classes serves me right, then that may have been a very transparent hint towards future cases, Max.”

 

“Huh, what? Sorry I was watching that fat pink tourist walk around. What’d he say?”

 

“Oh nothing important. Let’s just keep an eye out for any troublemakers.”

 

“Gladly!”

 

While Sam and Max bantered Sly and Murray made their way into the crowd.

 

“Come in Sly. How’s the museum?” Bentley whispered over the binocucom’s earpiece.

 

“Packed full of people wearing the same ridiculous gettup we are, Bentley. I feel stupid in this thing,” Sly whined lightly.

 

“Sorry Sly, but with that crowd you have a better chance of blending in looking like you do. Besides, Murray’s enjoying himself,” the turtle back at home base noted.

 

“HELLO FELLOW TOURIST! I JUST LOVE THESE PIECES!” The overly enthusiastic hippo shouted to Hubert.

 

“Why hello pinker besucher! They are such wonderful pieces!” The vaguely European man cajoled back. “It is amazing what American animatronics can do, ja?”

 

“He’s a little too into it. But at least he provides and ample distraction. I’m gonna go scope out those defenses,” Sly whispered to Bentley. While Murray started to snap his camera around seemingly haphazardly, Sly slipped through the crowd and made his way to the ring’s display room.

 

Murray in the meantime had the time of his life.

 

“Oh man! Look at the ugly mug on that one!” He lifted his camera and clicked the button.

 

“Murray! Focus!”

 

“Sorry Bentley. It’s just so cool in here! I mean, look at these weird glyphs!” Murray took a photo of said glyphs.

 

“I am sure they… they…. Oh wow! Good shot Murray! That is exactly the type of magical hoo-hah I was worried about! Keep doing what you’re doing, buddy!” Bentley exclaimed happily.

 

“My camera skills are almost as grand as my driving ones, especially when I totally meant to do that!” The great hippo assured his friend. Murray stepped around a French Rat and a Poodle to get a clearer picture of the dino-chicken. “Wonder if that thing was real? It would have made an AWESOME fried bucket combo!”

 

Off in the corner of the room the Freelance Police caught sight of Murray’s antics.

 

“Hey, he seems like a jovial type.”

 

“Yeah, never seen someone so excited to take pictures of this place!”

 

“Even as a tourist he seems a little too into it. Time to do some freelance speech trees, Max.”

 

“Ugh, stop breaking the fourth wall, Sam.”

 

Sam gave a shrug and made his way over to where Murray was now taking a quick photo of the cameras.

 

“Hi there large tourist. How’re you liking the Museum?”

 

The hippo heard Bentley give a small whimper of worry. “Murray! Be careful! Whatever you do, do  _ not _ hint that you are up to anything!”

 

Murray turned to the duo. “Hello guard! I am here to look at the pretty artifacts!” Despite him not done so earlier Murray was now putting on a simply atrocious and horribly stereotypical German accent that sounded vaguely Austrian.

 

“Woah! Talk about a one-eighty Sam. This guy got really cultured really quick!”

 

“Sign of the times Max. Maybe. So anywho. What you up to sport?”

 

The hippo beamed widely. “I am taking pictures!”

 

“We can see that. You’re also taking a few shots of the security cameras. Not seen too many where you come from?”

 

“Uhhh… yeah! Really rural area! I mean, check out my camera!” Murray held out the device for the two of them to see.

 

“Huh. That  _ does _ look pretty outdated, Sam.”

 

“No kidding Max. This thing makes the C.O.P.S. look downright modern in comparison.”

 

Murray had to quickly silence his earpiece before the two could hear Bentley’s howl of rage at the accidental infraction.

 

“Glad to see you’re taking note of the newer stuff. Bet our transit systems really blew you away, huh?”

 

“Oh, uh, yeah! Totally blew my mind! We’re used to, uh, horses. And carriages. And goats.” The hippo started to sweat a little.

 

“OH MY GOSH Sam, he gets to ride goats! I wanna do that!”

 

“In due time Max. Say, what part of the Old Country do you hail from?”

 

“UH! UHM!” Murray looked around frantically. “It is… how you say…. Drussel...stein?”

 

The pair looked to one another then back to Murray.

 

“I mean-”

 

“Well gee Max! This is our lucky day!”

 

“This is the second Drusselstenian we’ve encountered! Right after that guy with the long nose and horrid platypus problem.”

 

Murray gave an internal sigh of relief.

 

“Yep. Definitely a small world. What part of Drusselstein you from?”

 

“Uhm, uh, the… North… side?” Murray hazarded.

 

“Never heard of the North side, Sam. He must  _ really _ come from the sticks!”

 

“No kidding. At least you didn’t have to worry about overly effeminate vampires or giant grinding wheels there, right?”

 

Murray racked his brain further for any more excuses. “Uh, nope! We never had any of those! Just lots of sheep. And goats.”

 

“Darnit now I  _ really _ want a goat!”

 

“Well, you seem harmless enough for now. Just keep the voice down. We have to be on the lookout for people up to no good, and you nearly pinged our radars.”

 

“Yeah, and we hate it when people do that! It keeps us up all night and then I have to get Sam back to sleep again!”

 

“Oh. Uh. Absolutely. Sorry about that.” Murray apologized sheepishly. The pair walked back to their corner. The hippo gave a sigh of relief and wondered why it was so silent. Then he remembered that he put Bentley on silent.

 

As he turned up the volume a hair Murray heard Bentley continue to rant.

 

“-And of all the nerve they still use a VCR in what way are they allowed to-!”

 

“Bentley? You okay over there?” Murray asked his little buddy.

 

“I-I-I-I…. yeah. Yeah, I’m okay, Murray. You got off lucky, somehow. Just take a few more pictures but keep it on the down low! We don’t want that much attention again!”

 

“Roger that. The Murray is out!” The pink ‘tourist’ confirmed in a loud whisper.

 

**CONCURRENTLY AT THE TRICKSTER’S RING DISPLAY ROOM!**

 

Sly walked as calmly as he could up to the entrance of the display area. When he heard Murray talking rather loudly to one of the other tourists the raccoon gave his friend a cautious glance. Once it became clear that Murray was simply in character (albeit a bit loudly) Sly continued to his target destination.

 

The room was certainly… interesting. Around the walls were various old art and hieroglyphs about the “Trickster”. Sly could make out a few bits and pieces about various pranks that were pulled. Ones that had started small and harmless then grew to be absolute nightmares as the powers that be in the Ring started to take hold. 

 

Then there was the dioramas. Horribly crude but serviceable dioramas. A small group of tourists repeatedly played with one in particular. If Sly knew any better it looked like a bunch of guys pulling a block then slid back down like they were greased up. That or it was just a reused prop from an older display that was kinda painted over.

 

There in the center of the room was the main attraction. Locked behind a rather tasteful looking glass case in the shape of a ring box the Trickster’s Ring sat upon a red velvet pillow. Every bit of thief’s instinct in Sly pinged that tiny object as something desperately desired yet very wary. After all, something that precious?

 

Sly looked around and saw quite a few cameras, security and tourist, all focused on the Ring.

 

He heard the buzz of the invisible beams that surrounded the Ring’s case.

 

He felt the presence of quite a few things that he just could not rationally explain away.

 

That was indeed a very protected object. One that he absolutely had to get first before someone else with less moral integrity got ahold of it.

 

Besides, it was a challenge. And Sly always loved a challenge.

 

Sly slinked into the nearest throng of tourists. While they laughed and pointed at the rather cheap displays the racoon pulled out his binocucom. A quick look around and Sly found the first security machine. A quick click later and the thief had his picture.

 

He scanned around for the next one. Just as he had found it the mission became much harder with the introduction of two factors.

 

One, the fickle crowd was on the move and started to thin out a little. Less room to hide in without looking suspicious.

 

Two, the lovely and eagle-eyed Inspector Fox had arrived with Papierwaite at her heels.

 

“Inspector Fox-”

 

“Yes?” She sounded just as exasperated about the Curator as Sly did about his outfit.

 

“Are you certain about the need for that Shock Pistol of yours? I don’t want any of my attractions destroyed because of a stray shot. Or five,” Papierwaite asked pointedly with a bit of worry to his voice.

 

“I promise I won’t use it indoors unless there is a major emergency. Okay?”

 

“Well. Okay. But I still don’t like it. The electrical impulses of that gun might hamper the-”

 

Sly heard the curator go muffled. A quick check to the two and he saw that Carmelita had covered the small man’s mouth with her hand. 

 

“Quiet, you fool! Walls have ears-!”

 

He pushed her hand away. “I am quite aware. But I see nothing but tourists here!” He waved to his crowed. A small frog person, an alligator, a Hubert-esque woman, and a few others waved back. “See? Nothing to worry about from them.”

 

“Hm. Still. Be careful,” Inspector Fox admonished lightly. “I’ll keep watch here. Don’t worry. I got this.”

 

“Very well, Inspector Fox. I shall go do those blasted last minute checks the INTERPOL higher ups wanted. Just please be nice to my tourists? They have had bad luck with freelance police bef-”

 

Right then a few other tourists swarmed the Inspector.

 

“Lookit her badge! So shiny!”   
  
“Americans get all the good officers!”

 

“OOH! Do we get to partake in American Style Police Shakedown? I heard about that it was so amazing!”

 

Sly chuckled despite himself. While Carmelita was distracted by her new fans he set about to get more photos. Two more security posts were discovered and captured, as well as a few odd looking glyphs that didn’t match the chintzy decor, a few gargoyles, and one of Carmelita herself.

 

All too soon he heard a buzz over the museum’s speakers.

 

“Attention all sightseers! Sadly, due to new security regulations, we shall be closing very soon.” Papierwaite’s highly accented voice crackled in the air. Quite a few tourists gave very loud moans of disappointment.

 

“I know I know, such a shame for me too. But worry not, the museum and its wonderful gift shop will be open early tomorrow morning! Please, stop by again to see even more wonders of the cosmos!” His voice clicked off and Carmelita snapped into job-mode.

 

“You heard the man. I need everyone to please make your last round around the artifacts then calmly make your way to the exit.” The inspector fox took a spot right by the exit to watch for any troublemakers.

  
Sly ducked his head down and tried to blend in with the crowd. It took every ounce of willpower to not pickpocket several of the nearby people but he managed to so.

 

Well mostly. He still got a few watches, a golden comb, two bracelets and a whole lot of coin.

 

He felt the red-hot gaze of his ex-girlfriend as she glanced over the crowd. Very luckily for him she didn’t seem to recognize him. Sly figured it was because of the outfit.

 

The racoon kept with the flow of the crowds right out the doors and back into the city. Fortunately for him Murray was behind him doing the same.

 

Unfortunately Sam and Max seemed to have taken an interest in the hippo.

 

“Hope you had a good time in there, buddy!”   
  


“Yeah! You better come back to do more looking at stuff! You were a lot more interesting than the rest of these NPCs!”

 

“Max, who’s breaking the fourth wall now, hm?”

 

“I’m allowed to as the crazy one, Sam.”

 

“That’s up for speculation.”

 

Murray just waved to them as he ran down the steps. Once away he and Sly met up a block away and around the corner from the Museum.

 

“You get any good pics, Murray?” Sly asked his companion.

 

“Oh definitely! The Freelance Police are none the wiser!” Murray said with utmost confidence.

 

**IN THE INTERIOR OF THE MUSEUM!**

 

“That was actually kinda fun!”

 

“You said it little buddy. At least one of the tourists was a talkative sort. The rest seemed kinda flat.”

 

“Like they’re nothing more than-”

 

“We’ve broken the fourth wall enough today, Max. I say we let it heal and we can start taking a few more whacks at it later.”

 

“Aw, you’re no fun Sam.”

 

“Let’s get to Miss Fox before she hunts us down. You know how them non-freelance police types are.”

 

“Yeah yeah, all ‘follow the rules’ this and ‘don’t lick that perp’ that. Sheesh.”

 

The Freelance Police turned away from the now-locked museum entrance and made their way towards the Trickster’s Ring display room. As expected Inspector Fox was there waiting for them.

 

“Any issues?” She asked.

 

“None to be found today, Miss Fox.”

 

“Yeah, just the usual crowds. Which meant weird but not  _ weird _ .”

 

“Hm. My thief sense has been acting up. You two sure you didn’t see anything really unusual?” Carmelita probed further.

 

“Welllll…”

 

“Ooh, let me tell her!”

 

“By all means, Max.”

 

“Alright! So, we finally got to meet a North Drusselstenian goat rider!”

 

Miss Fox looked utterly perplexed. “Come… again?”

 

“He was this really big hippo looking guy with a horribly racist accent that ride goats, uses very outdated technology and loved us!”

 

“A… hippo?” Carmelita puzzled over this.

 

“Indeed. Granted he was a little too pink to be a proper hippo.”

 

That was the last puzzle piece she needed. With the description those two gave as well as what she could have sworn was a racoon tail in the crowd…

 

“Thanks boys. You may have just given us the edge we needed for some potential crooks,” she said with a rather sly grin on her face.

 

“Happy to help, Miss Fox!”

 

“Yeah, especially when we don’t realize that we’re helping!”

 

“Quiet headknuckle.”

 

She looked around as though to spot any bugs or shady figures in the vicinity. “Alright. So. I think I know who we’re dealing with…”

 

**ONCE MORE IN THE COOPER GANG HIDEOUT!**

 

“Good work on the pictures guys. With this data, I have all we need to figure out how to get that Ring,” Bentley said to his companions.

 

“AWESOME! This means we’re even closer to getting the job done, right?”

 

“Almost Murray. Give me a bit to look this stuff over. Once I have a plan in mind, we can do what we need to do.”

 

“Alright Bentley. We can always count on you for this sorta stuff,” Sly said to his pal.

 

“But of course. I am the brains of the operation after all. Thanks to the both of you sneaking by somewhat undetected, I’m willing to bet that we’ll be able to pull this off without a hitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long it took Act 2 to be posted. I took longer than expected to come up with the set up. But now, I can work on Act 3! If it goes as planned that's when things will start to heat up...
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you readers for your patience! And to MicBunny for helping with a bit of Beta Reading.


	3. Act Three: Best Laid Plans of Foxes and Turtles!

“Here you go, Inspector Fox.”

 

“Thank you Monsieur Papierwaite,” Carmelita responded as she pulled over the blueprints of the museum into the center of the table.

 

“You’re quite welcome. If you need me, I am going to be in my office prepping more security spells with Doctor Norrington.” Paperweight left the meeting area which was basically the under-construction laser light show room.

 

“Okay boys ga- Stop touching the powertools.”

 

“Sorry Miss Fox. We have short attention spans except when it comes to high-power equipment.”

 

“Yeah! Especially when it comes to _drllls._ And hammers! Who doesn’t love hammers?”

 

Carmelita pinched the bridge of her nose. “Case. We have a case right now, boys.”

 

“Oh, right. Max, stop touching the powertools.”

 

“Fiiiiine.”

 

WIth that the Freelance Police stopped pointing at or clicking the buttons on various equipment and made their way to the carpenter’s table.

 

“You done?” The inspector asked with a bit of exasperation in her voice.

 

“Our banter is endless, but it can be paused. What have you concocted, Miss Fox?”

 

Carmelita smirked as she positioned the blueprints better for the Freelance Police.

 

**IN THE COOPER CLAN HIDEOUT!**

 

Bentley used a laser pointer to indicate the Trickster’s Ring current resting place on his own digital copy of the Museum’s blueprints.

 

“Here’s the location of the prize, gentlemen. As we all know there are plenty of defenses, both magical and mundane. But the trickiest part of all this is the fact that there is a grand total of one, and only one, entrance into this room.” He pushed a button on his wheelchair and the very obvious exit-slash-entrance of the room was displayed. “This means that the only assault we can play here is a very frontal one.”

 

“Hold up,” Cooper said with a raised hand. “There’s the air vent, remember? Can’t I just go through that?”

 

“ _You_ could, yes. Me? Not so much, what with my impairment.”

 

“Wait, you’re coming along?” Cooper asked in both amazement and worry.

 

**BACK IN THE MUSEUM!**

 

“Hold the phone, Miss Fox. In our conveniently done off-screen briefing about the Cooper Clan, you told us that Bentley was the brains and hub of the operation. Why would he need to be along with the ringmaster? Er, so to speak.”

 

“I’ve spent some time with the Cooper Clan. Bentley may be a mostly science geek but he knows his way around magic and spells. Cooper? Not so much. He might be able to handle the mechanical securities but there’s no way he’ll be able to touch Papierwaite’s craft. Bentley on the other hand…” Carmelita trailed off.

 

“Might be able to voodoo his way past the defenses and open a way for the rest of the gang. Got it. So….?”

 

Carmelita smiled. “They’re crooks but they’re not stupid. Especially not Bentley. The front doors would be suicide especially with the two of you right there. And I’ve seen Papierwaite’s hand-waving. He’s put the tons of security there. Which leaves-”

 

**AGAIN WITH THE COOPER CLAN!**

 

“-The only entrance that we can use with as little difficulty as we can manage to be the skylight of the laser lightshow room,” Bentley concluded.

 

“I dunno. This still seems like a risk,” Sly said with a worried look.

 

“It is. But I’m the only decent spellslinger in the group. And Papierwaite has got to be one heck of a magician to be able to hold down the fort with the Trickster’s Ring. Therefore, I have to go with you in tandem.”

 

“Wait, can’t Sly just unlock the doors and you go in through that?” Murray asked between chip-bites.

 

“In normal circumstances, yes. But the Freelance Police are much more eagle-eyed than you’d expect, and the magical defences on those doors are through the roof! Sly would be detected in an instant.”

 

“Speaking of detected… Carmelita is gonna be there too, you know. And she’s gonna be right there at the entrance,” Sly pointed out.

 

“Indeed. But I figure that the Freelance police are eventually going to get into something that calls her attention. We’ve seen their attention spans in action. We’ll simply have to wait for the perfect moment to slip in undetected.”

 

**IN THE MUSEUM! AGAIN!**

 

“Wait wait waitwaitwaitwait. You WANT us to do something stupid? As in, intentionally!?”

 

“That’s right Max. As soon as we have the feeling, that gut instinct, that they’re in the building? I want the two of you to act like you normally do and get into something. I’ll come out, act as though I’m distracted with your shenanigans,” Carmelita explained.

 

“It’d be clever alright. Be hard to tell whether or not we did it on purpose. Especially with Max involved.”

 

“Look Sam! I found the self destruct button on this cement mixer!”

 

“Not now Max. Save it for when we’re capering.”

 

“Aw.”

 

“We set the trap, the bait’s already in place.” Carmelita rolled up the blueprints and stuck them in their tube. A smug grin crossed her face. “They have no idea we know they’re coming.”

 

**ONCE MORE INTO THE COOPER HIDEOUT!**

 

“Murray, you need to be close by but in the shadows. As soon as Sly and I grab the ring box, all heck is likely going to break loose! We’ll need to make one of your signature awesome getaways,” Bentley instructed while pulling up a photo of Murray posing with his precious van.

 

“You got it buddy!” Murray clapped Sly on his shoulder. Her nearly launched the raccoon out of his chair in the process. “We got this, Sly! No worries!”

 

Sly chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right! We got this!”

 

Bentley adjusted his glasses. “Oh yeah. After all, they have no idea that we’re coming!”

 

**LATER THAT NIGHT! AT THE MUSEUM! AGAIN! FOR THE LAST TIME!!! (THIS CHAPTER)**

 

In the pale moonlight Sly Cooper once again made his way up the pipe on the side of the museum that he did before. This time he passed the tantalizing blue-sparkled air vent entryway and hopped onto the similarly sparkled secondary pipe that he ignored the last time he was here. Once he made his way to the top of the building his carefully guided one of the many boards that littered the rooftop over to the edge. A quick angle and a push later the board made a handy, if thin, bridge over to the museum’s prominent dome. Within moments the wheelchair bound brains of the operation joined the racoon.

 

“Easy part’s done. Now we have to get down there quietly. And don’t get too far ahead of me. I’ll need to carefully strip away whatever magical defenses are blocking our path. Got it?”

 

“Got it. Operation Ringleader is go.”

 

Bentley frowned. “I never agreed to that name.”

 

“Toolateareadystarted!” Sly said as he slipped into the dome through an open windowpane. Bentley shook his head but said nothing as he wheeled after his partner.

 

Sly gave an appreciative look to the equipment. “If we cared about this, we could make a sizeable fortune just from the tools they just left behind,” he whispered to Bentley.

 

“Yeah, well, we don’t. Not right now. And don’t go smashing stuff for coins like you usually do. Too noisy and we don’t want to attract attention,” Bentley whispered back. The two of them sneaked and climbed slowly through the construction site. Less than a minute in though Bentley held up a hand. Sly stopped in his tracks.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“First defenses. I feel the tingle.” Bentley pulled up his recently re-modified Binocucom. “It’s an easy one. Gimme a moment to parse the runes.”

 

The turtle waved his right hand then thrust out his left. Sly heard the faintest ‘pop’. “That it?”

 

“Like I said, easy one. No verbal components needed this time. Let’s get moving.”

 

The pair continued to make their way down. Bentley stopped every so often to get rid of more security features, and Sly made a point to undo a few wires that led to INTERPOL security laser grids. Finally, after what felt like forever, the duo hit ground level.

 

“‘Bout time. How you holdin’ up, Bentley?”

 

The turtle wiped his brow. “I’m a little winded, but that’s magic and exercise for you. Gimme a second to catch my breath.”

 

Sly nodded and slipped over to the doors that led into the rest of the museum. From where he stood he could see the backs of the Freelance Police. He carefully pushed the door open just enough so that some sound could more easily get through.

 

“-and then there was a giant explosion! My Max saved the whole city! And likely the whole coast for that matter. It was… beautiful. And heartbreaking. I even got to walk to a piano riff showing just how sad the whole thing was.”

 

“Awwwww, I knew I’d become a massive demonic super bunny one of these days! Just wish it was actually me that did it. Did I at least look cool?”

 

“Oh definitely. You were a sight to behold and people were absolutely awestruck. Both in the ‘wow’ and the ‘oh my God protect the children’ senses.”

 

“Awesome!”

 

“Hmm… Good thing it’s a quiet night Max. Gives us a chance to regale each other of our not-quite past adventures together.”

 

“Yeah, it- OOOH! Sam, look! The giftshop!”

 

“What about it?”

 

“Paperweight left it wide open! While _we’re_ here!”

 

“Ooh! Good point, little buddy. Shall we raid it for it’s questionable but no doubt fun goodies?”

 

“You have to ask?”

 

The two rather brazenly made their way over towards the knicknack marketplace. Sly shook his head in dumbfounded amazement. Bentley had since rolled up and his jaw dropped as the two just blatantly left their station. “What…?”

 

“Can you believe those two? How’re you so spooked by them?”

 

“I have no idea at this point.”

 

**SAM AND MAX POV!**

 

“Good thinking Max. Carmelita would definitely get onto us about going to the giftshop. Thanks for going along with the plan.”

 

“What plan? I just wanted to get me some eldritch sour candies!”

 

“You crack me up little buddy.”

 

**BACK TO THE COOPER DUO!**

 

Sly and Bentley waited patiently. Any moment Carmelita would come to check on them. Aaaaany moment.

 

And after a few minutes, their patience was rewarded. Carmelita stepped out of the Ring’s showroom. “Okay boys, I’m ready to-.... Where are you?” She looked around the museum. In moments she locked onto the obviously opened gift shop. A gift shop that had product toppling out of the entryway. “Ohhhh SERIOUSLY!? Can’t you two behave for just one case!? Just _one!?_ ” She stormed off angrily towards the flying bric-a-brac.

 

“Move!” Bentley hissed. Sly didn’t need to be told twice. He bolted from the room as quickly and quietly as he could with Bentley hot on his heels. In moments the pair were in the Ring’s presence.

 

“Okay. You take care of the INTERPOL stuff. I’ll get the magical defenses down enough so you can snag the ring box without worry.”

 

“Got it.” Sly quickly got to work and did his fancy fingerwork on the INTERPOL security wiring. His years of extensive dealings with the worldwide police force gave him the edge. Even if it was apparent that they had done some upgrades to their craft.

 

“They finally swapped their wire colors!” Sly whispered over to Bentley. The turtle only gave a silent nod as he wiped away a rune.

 

“Ucte zo soculitupp, lidd jed!” The turtle hissed. Another layer of runes evaporated before his eyes. Well, eyes filtered through the Binocucom. “Almost done here. All that’s left is-”

 

“The jail!”

 

“Yeah, the j-  Wait, what!?”

 

Sly and Bentley whipped around. There stood at the entrance to the ring room was none other than Inspector Carmelita Fox as well as Sam and Max, Freelance Police!

 

“Freeze punks!”

 

“Yeah, we got the only entrance to this place closed!”

 

Carmelita kept her shock pistol trained on Sly Cooper in particular. “Well well well. Cooper.”

 

“Inspector Fox. You’re looking lovely tonight,” Sly tried.

 

“Save it, Ringtail. Breaking and entering, security sabotage, attempted larceny. We’re back to how things were, hm?” The fox cut him off before he could get much further.

 

“And as for you, you turtle punk! How could you? We were supposed to go so far together!”

 

“You’ve never met him before, Max. Besides, you don’t even like turtles.”

 

“Oh. Right. Well stay frozen punks!”

 

Sly slowly stood up out of his crouch. “Now I know what this looks like…”

 

“Like a crook that got busted?”

 

“Well, you have me there, Inspector. But we really-”

 

“Nuh uh. No sweet talking your way out of this one,” Carmelita cut him off once again.

 

“Ooh! Unless you have actual sweets!”

 

“Not now Max. We have to act serious.”

 

“Right! Serious! Grrrrr.”

 

Bentley just shook his head. Carmelita glanced over to the Freelance Police in annoyed amusement. Sly, however, used this distraction to grab an emergency smoke bomb out of his pocket.

 

“Bentley, think fast!” Sly threw the ball into the midst of the trio. Bentley put his sharpshooter skills to use and pegged the bomb with a dart of his. THe ball exploded into massive puff of disorienting grey gas!

 

“I GOT ‘EM!”

 

“NO I GOT ‘EM”

 

“ **_I_ ** **GOT EM!”**

 

 **“** You morons, you got ME!!!”

 

“Ooops, sorry Miss Fox!”

 

Out in the main hall of the museum Sly and Bentley regrouped. “How’d they know?!”

 

“I TOLD YOU! Always be on alert around the Freelance Police! They must have-!” Bentley’s tirade was broken when a bolt of electricity flew between them. “I’ll explain why I was right again later! AMSCRAY!”

 

The thieves scrammed fast with the various law enforcement hot on their heels. SLy and Bentley made a beeline for Murray and the van.

  
“WHOA! Guys? Where's the box!? This wasn’t the plan!” The hippo cried out as he spotted the bolts flying out the door and his comrades running up to him empty-handed.

 

“Plan is scrapped! Getaway time is now!” Bentley puffed. Sly glanced around the area. Some sparkles caught his eye.

 

“You two stick to the streets. I’ll get Carmelita’s attention away!” Sly said as he jumped up and onto a pole.

 

“Wait no that’s a terrible-!” Bentley tried to cry out but Sly was soon out of sight. “...Plan. Ugh. Murray, get her going!”

 

“Already on it!”

 

**CONCURRENTLY WITH THE FREELANCE POLICE AND INSPECTOR FOX!**

 

“Of all the-! I shoulda known that Sly Cooper would have come up with an emergency escape!” Carmelita berated herself.

 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. If it hadn’t been for that, your plan would have worked, Inspector Fox.”

 

“Hey, guys, perps on the move!”

 

“Thanks Max. After them!”

 

Sam and Max led the charge but were quickly overtaken by the much more athletic Carmelita. SHe spotted the trio as they met up briefly and saw Sly split away.

 

“You two get Bentley and Murray! Sly’s mine!” She barked out as she sprang for the rooftops/

 

“We’re on it!”

 

The Freelance Police jumped into the DeSotto just as the Cooper Van peeled off.  
  
“Let’s get go-”

 

“Hold up Sam! Contractual obligations, remember?”

 

“Oh right. Cue up the tunes, Max.”

 

Max fiddled with the radio. Almost as if on cue, Last Call / Day at the Races sprang up.

 

“How serendipitous!”

 

“Max, don’t say serendipitous.”

 

“Whatever. PEDAL TO THE METAL!!!!”

 

The DeSotto’s engine screamed like a demon as it roared to life. Tires screeched against the pavement as they gave chase!

 

**ON THE ROOFTOPS!**

 

“Get back here, Cooper! You have a _lot_ to answer for!”

 

Sly ducked and weaved all around the many, _many_ electro-bolts that were blazing around him. “I’m sorry about missing that date!”

 

“You broke into another museum!” Carmelita aimed right for that ringtail of his and shot yet another volley.

 

“I was trying to save my family’s history! You know this, you were there!”

 

“All I know is that you _used me_ for months while you acted like you lost your memory then you decided to just go right back to a life of crime!”

 

Sly ducked as a shot nearly found it’s mark. His head. He jumped into the air and landed neatly onto a convenient angled pole. He slid down the bit of metal and looked for his next escape route.

 

“It wasn’t planned! I really was trying to go straight! I was fighting impulses for weeks!”

 

“Cry me a river, Ringtail.”

 

Sly smacked a chimney out of his way as well as an old tv antenna, two air filters, a shoddy sign, and a rat’s nest. Bolts flew after him continuously. The raccoon jumped from one roof to another. Carmelita was right behind him. Bolt after bolt was blasted out after the thief.

 

“Look, I wanted-”

 

“I don’t care what you wanted, it’s what you did that mattered!” Carmelita cut him off again.

 

“Would you let me get a wo-?”

“NO!”

 

“Then how can I-!?”

  
  
“DON’T! CARE!”

 

Sly slipped down a pole and onto an emergency ladder setup. Carmelita held her fire as she jumped and twirled after him. “Get back here, you- you- liar you!”

 

“I wanted to stay clean! I only broke into Le Paradox’s museum because the history in the Book was-!”

 

“Was disappearing, I know I know! Then you get me wrapped up in your shenanigans!”

 

“That was an honest not-me mistake!” He ducked again and ran down an alley towards what looked be a park. Lots of trees, lots of places to hide/

 

“You put me in a bellydancer’s outfit!”

 

“YOU AGREED TO-!”

 

“THEN you get yourself sent back to who knows where-!”

 

“ANCIENT EGYPT!” Sly Cooper cried out over his shoulder as he ran through the main gates.

 

“And when you get back you don’t even give me so much as a call!?” She jumped onto the wall surrounding the park. “Do you have ANY IDEA how much I missed you!? How much I was **_worried_ ** about you!?”

 

“IIiiiii…. oh.  Uh…”

 

Sly Cooper paused for just a split second. That was all it took.

 

**BACK ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK!**

 

“Murray! Turn left, TURN LEFT!”

 

“I know what I’m doing Bentley!”

 

“We missed the-!”  
  
“I KNOW BENTLEY!”

 

Sam and Max were right on the Cooper Van’s tailpipes. The two may have been the most chaotic drivers New York had ever seen, but their years of experience rampaging through the city’s streets gave them an edge.

 

“Quick! They’re turning down 4th!”

 

“Hold on little pal!”

 

Sam turned as hard as he could and the DeSotto screeched around the corner behind the Cooper Van.

 

“Man, these guys do not let up!” Murray groused. “I’m gonna try to shake them down Maple!”

 

“Wait, Maple’s-!”  Bentley’s words were cut off as the van started to bounce and buck wildly.

 

“UnDerGOing ConnnnnSTRUCtion!”

 

“Look, Max! They took Maple!”

 

“Awesome! We run that street for kicks!”

 

The DeSotto veered around the metalwork and onto a series of girders that the work crew used for their heavy duty equipment. The Cooper Van wasn’t faring as well.

 

“MUr-R-R-R-R-RAY get us outta here!”

 

“THERE!” Murray made a sharp turn right and into a thin alley. “No way they can fit through here with that car of theirs!”

 

“ Max! I mean Sam!”  
  
“I see ‘em! LEAN!”

 

Sam pulled into the turn just as tight as Murray Did. Max added his kinetic rabbity force to get the DeSotto onto two wheels on the left side. With proper angling and a _lot_ of luck, the two were after their perps with half their tires on the wall!

 

“YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!”

 

“Murray, make a left, I have an idea!”

 

“YOU GOT IT CHUM! THE MURRAY MAKES A LEEEEEEEEFFFFFT!”

 

Sparks flew as the van cut a hard left onto a new street.

 

“Hear that?!”

“I heard it! LEFT!”

 

The Pair nearly bounced out of their seats when the DeSotto landed back onto the pavement. THe Van was swerving wildly as the driver inside tried to line up for what looked like a parked car-trailer up ahead.

 

“Looks like they’re gonna have to juuuump!”

 

“I see that, Max! Take the wheel little buddy!”

 

Sam stood up from his seat while Max quickly leaned over with practiced ease and took control of the vehicle.  
  
Sam aimed down his sights.

 

Carmelita aimed down hers.

 

The two shot a single bullet each!

 

The bolt caught the distracted Sly right in the square of his back! The Raccoon tumbled and landed on a nearby and handy flower bed. Carmelita was on him in moments.

 

Sam’s bullet passed the Van entirely and hit the tires of the waiting trailer! The tires deflated just in time and at just the right angle to send the Van careening off course and onto its side! It skidded for nearly fifty yards, shards of metal, glass, and asphalt until the van finally came to a stop. Sam and Max pulled up beside the wrecked vehicle just as Murray and Bentley tumbled out of the back.

 

The Brains and Brawn of the Cooper Clan looked up to find the Big Kill and the Lugermorph staring them down.

 

“Freeze punks!”

 

“And this time, STAY frozen!”

 

Carmelita pulled out an old pair of handcuffs. Sly started to stir but Carmelita kept him down with her boot.

 

“You know, Cooper, I’ve been waiting to use these on you for a long, long time. And finally?” Sly winced as he heard and felt the metal clicking around his wrists. “I’ve got you, Ringtail.”

 

**SHORTLY! AT THE GATES OF THE MUSEUM!**

 

“Miss Fox! And the head of the Cooper Gang. Nice work, Inspector.”

 

Carmelita glanced over the other captured Cooper Clan members then gave Sam and Max an approving smile. “Nice work yourself.”

 

“Hey, they lost the moment these punks decided to mess with the Freelance Police.”

 

“Yeah, who knows what kinda neat trophies we’ll get out of this case.”

 

Murray shook his head. “Ugh. I can’t believe it.”

 

“I can. Ugh. Doesn’t mean I like it though,” Bentley replied.

 

Carmelita looked behind the group. “Hey. Why’d you bring the Van with you?”

 

“Well that should be obvious. Evidence! And the Freelance Police never leave evidence behind!”

 

“That and it was too big to fit in Sam’s inventory, so we had to kinda tow it with us.”

 

The Inspector just blinked for a moment before she shook her head. “Well, whatever. I’m just happy we caught the Cooper Clan bef-”

 

“Hey. Guys. What’s wrong with this picture?” Cooper finally spoke up.

 

“Can it, Ringtail.”

 

“Seriously Carmelita. Look.” The thief’s gaze was squared right at the entrance of the Museum. The entrance that was now apparently blown open from the outside.

 

“Hold on. When we made our dramatic exit into our devil-may-care chase through the streets and rooftops, the doors didn’t look like that.”

 

“Yeah. We’d remember doing something like that. Or even got it on video!”

 

Carmelita’s eyes narrowed. “Something’s not right here.” She looked Cooper over then roughly (yet somehow carefully) hefted him to his feet. “Come on. We’re gonna check this out.”

 

“Good plan Miss Fox. You two are comin’ with us.”

 

“Uhh… why?” Murray asked.

 

“Because it’s Freelance style to make sure everyone is involved in potential twists in a case.”

 

Sam and Max helped Bentley and Murray up to their feet as well and guided them into the building.

 

Inside, the place was a shambles. Scorch-marks lined the walls, the giant chicken-dinosaur thing was in pieces, and several tacky gift shop items burned under green flames.

 

“This doesn’t look right at all.”

 

“Agreed. Come on, let’s see if we can find-”

 

“Hey look! It’s Paperweight!”

 

Everyone turned to where Max was pointing. There on the ground was Monsieur Papierwaite, crumpled in a heap and in the fetal position.

 

“Sam, you and Max keep an eye on those three!” Carmelita ordered as she ran over to the curator.

 

“Yes indeed, Miss Fox!”

 

The Inspector knelt by the odd man and helped him onto his back. “Papierwaite? Can you hear me?”

 

He coughed lightly. “In… spector… Fox?”

 

“Yes, it’s me. What happened?”

 

Papierwaite coughed again. He bolted upright as his eyes grew wide and grabbed Carmelita by the collar.

 

“THE BOX! THE RING! IT’S _STOLEN!_ ”

 

And the man blacked out again

 

 

**DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN!!!**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof. WOW. This took WAAAAAAAAAAAAY longer than expected. Place the blame a lot of funk, career change, more funk, energy drain, a bit more funk, personal issues and strangely enough funk music had nothing to do with it. 
> 
> That said, this chapter is FINALLY done. And I have more than enough of an idea of what to do for the next, rest, and beyond.
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapter, folks! Same for upcoming chapters on my other work. Works maybe, hm....?
> 
> Laters!


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